Although still considered taboo in certain parts of the world, anal sex is quickly becoming a more accepted part of people’s sex lives.

That said, there are certain things you can do to ensure that your backdoor fun is the best it can be, regardless of whether you’re giving it to her or she’s venturing into your region.

Now then, here are six tips to make anal sex pleasurable and a memorable experience for the right reasons every time you engage in the deed.

1- Don’t insist on penetration
Although it’s hard to believe, you don’t need to stick your fingers or penis inside the rectum for the pleasurable sensations associated with anal sex. And although it might be a bitter pill for some guys to swallow, when you’re receiving anal sex, you don’t need to have anything put inside you either.

By simply rubbing the anus or even licking it, known as rimming, the receiving person can derive awesome sensations.

2- Make it feel good all the time
Many women have told us that their first anal sex experience (and sometimes their second and third) hurt like a bitch, but ladies, it doesn’t have to. We’re serious.

Now, if she isn’t calm and relaxed, it’s going to hurt. If you insist on shoving your penis inside her (like ripping off a bandage — one shot), it’s going to hurt. If you don’t use lubrication, it’s going to hurt.

You need to talk about it and both of you need to agree to do it happily; no one should be coerced into it. You also need to be patient and let her lead the way. If you are going to engage in anal sex, let her hold your penis and guide it in slowly. Go in about an inch, then pull out completely, then go in about an inch farther and pull out completely. Keep going in and out at one-inch intervals and pretty soon you’ll be in.

3- Understand that there are 2 sphincters
There are two sphincter muscles in the anus (if you place your finger inside about inch deep and press against the side, you’ll feel them), and they are less than an inch apart.

While you can control the external sphincter at will, the internal sphincter is not the same. It reacts more in a reflexive way. So while your partner may assure you that she’s relaxed and willing, her internal sphincter may prove otherwise.

The point is that you need to be patient and give your partner time to learn how to relax and try different positions to make it happen.

4- Stimulate the anal region while doing other things

The sensation of touching the anus or rectum alone may feel uncomfortable for your girl or even yourself, but couple it with penetration or oral sex, and suddenly it’ll feel much better.

For example, while you’re engaging in vaginal sex, you can insert a sex toy into your girl’s anus to give her the sensation of DP, or double penetration. And she can insert a toy into yours while you’re penetrating her or she’s performing oral sex on you. It’s up to you to decide what you’re comfortable with.

5- Change your diet

For a pleasurable anal sex experience, it’s important for both of you to eat a diet rich fiber, raw vegetables and fruit rather than processed foods.

Regular bowel movements are conducive to both comfort and confidence when it comes to anal sex. Adult film stars about to engage in anal sex always undergo enemas beforehand to ensure no “slip-ups.”

So make sure that your diet is a healthy one and, although fiber is recommended, try to avoid eating it for a few hours before you’re set to engage in anal sex.

6- Obey the rules of hygiene

There’s a reason why women have to wipe from front to back when they do No. 2; trace amounts of feces may cause infection. The same rules apply to anal sex.

If you put your penis or fingers in or around her anus, you cannot simply revert to her vagina afterward. There are ways to resolve this issue, however.

You can always discard the “anal sex” condom and put on a new one for vaginal entry.

As for your fingers, you can always keep baby wipes close by and wipe your hands before you use them on her vagina.

Remember; you can go from the vagina to the anus, but not the other way around. Hopefully you know your female anatomy.

Back Door Man
Ensure anal sex is fun by making certain that you and your girl are comfortable. If she gets squeamish when you suggest it, find out why. Don’t be afraid to communicate about sex and what you like; it’ll bring you closer together and enhance your sex life.

Keep in mind that anal sex can be very dangerous and spread STDs, so unless you’re in a monogamous relationship and you’ve both been tested for diseases, we strongly urge you to use condoms and latex barriers in anal sex and any other variety of sex.

A lot of ink has been spilled over the fact that Britain doesn’t care that Prince William and Kate have probably already done it. But in generations past, the wedding night was indeed special, as it was the first time a couple would have sex with each other. Over time, the importance of premarital virginity has waned considerably and these days it’s quite rare for a newly married couple to be engaging in their first act of sexual intercourse on their wedding night. Regardless, that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t still be special. Even if you don’t place much importance on that first time as a married couple, chances are your new Mrs. does, so you should make a serious effort to make it memorable for both of you. It will also set the precedent for your future sex life as husband and wife.

Ban Pre-Wedding Sex

You’ve already enjoyed each other carnally, but you can still try to create the kind of anticipation that isn’t normally present in your everyday sex life for this special occasion. For a period of time before the wedding, ban all sexual contact so that your desire for each other will build up until the wedding night. The ban time will vary for each couple, depending on how often you usually get frisky. The basic formula is to hold out for twice as long as you normally would. If you are a few-times-a-week couple, a week-long sex ban should be sufficient, but if you tend to do it only once every other week, you might want to keep up the no sex rule for as long as a month before you say “I do.” To increase the expectation even more, add a “no nudity in each other’s presence” clause to your sex-ban agreement.

Get A Room

You may already be living together before your nuptials, but in order to make your wedding night special, you should spend it somewhere other than home. Put yourself in unfamiliar surroundings by booking a nice hotel room for the night. If you have some room left in the wedding budget, why not spring for the honeymoon suite? The point is to change the venue from the site of your everyday sex life to make your first time as husband and wife seem different and special.

Do It Early

Whether your wedding is a black-tie affair or a casual beach event, the festivities will no doubt leave both of you exhausted by the end of the night. Traditionally, you’re supposed to wait until after the reception is over before you get your chance to be alone together, but you’re already flouting tradition with your premarital sex, so you might as well take a different approach here too. Don’t wait until you’re dead tired and probably at least a little drunk to consummate your marriage. Agree to sneak away during your reception to have a little alone time. The party will continue without you for a while. If need be, explain your plan to your best man and maid of honor so they can cover for you.

Help Her Out Of Her Dress

Chances are your blushing bride is going to be dressed in an elaborate and difficult-to-get-into gown on your wedding night. She needs at least two bridesmaids to hold it up while she goes to the bathroom, so getting it over her head once you make it to the bedroom could be a challenge. Make taking her dress off part of your foreplay instead of letting her struggle with it on her own. Don’t get frustrated with the various buttons, bows and fasteners. Take your time and make it fun.

Married Sex

Now that you’re married, you can let go of any inhibitions you might still have and fully enjoy your sex life with your wife. Married sex doesn’t have to be boring and routine. Start it off right by creating the perfect situation for some mind-blowing sex as husband and wife.

Check out these four tricks to make her orgasm.

Put On Musky Cologne

Smell is the strongest of the five senses when it comes to sexual functioning for two reasons: First, since anything musky mimics testosterone, it’ll kick her libido into high gear. Baby powder can have a similar effect by activating her “scent print,” which links babies to procreation. Second, because smell, sex and memory centers share close quarters in the brain, the scent of arousal leaves the most lasting impression. The second she gets a whiff of your musky cologne, she’ll be transported back to the last time she smelled it on your body.
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Warm Up Her Feet

Every guy knows that when a woman hits the sack she loves to wedge her cold feet between his legs to warm up. Warm feet do more to make a woman physically comfortable than just about anything else — even more so if you want her completely naked, which is not likely to happen if she’s cold, even with the lights off. What most of you probably didn’t realize was the importance of warm feet in increasing the likelihood of her experiencing an orgasm. According to Dutch scientists from the University of Groningen, the odds are increased by 30%. Maybe leaving the socks on isn’t such a bad idea after all. If you want to try something sexier, a foot massage with a warming gel can do wonders, especially if you concentrate on the pads of her toes and the webbing in between, which are linked to her nether zones according to reflexology charts. Moreover, lips, hands, feet, and genitals get the lion’s share of brain space, where feet and genital centers are neighbors, making them share sexy information. Why else do you think women call shoe shopping “retail therapy” — especially when they’re not getting any at home and feeling bummed out? So socks or stilettos, you choose, as long as they’re keeping her tootsies warm.

Focus On Her 10 O’clock And 2 O’clock

When zoning in between her legs, just as you appreciate her indulging more than just your package, she’d like you to go for more than her hood ornament. If you run your tongue around her clitoral head, concentrating on the 10 o’ clock and 2 o’clock marks on either side, and then gently slip your tongue beneath the hood, you’ll have her moaning from ecstasy. While bang-on is too sensitive, those two sweet spots will make sure that she takes a licking and keeps on ticking, thanks to the bulbs hidden just beneath. The best way to pull off this maneuver is to have her straddle your face as you lay comfortably on your back. She’ll get to lean into the headboard so she can drive the action with ease, since you’ve put her in charge.

Kiss The Right Side Of Her Spine

Touch on the right side of a woman’s spine makes her melt more so than the left side, perhaps because the left side of the brain controls her right side and it’s the logical side that can talk her into anything. Whether you’re kissing her there, stroking her or gently teasing her with a tickler, just make sure your moves are curvy. You’ll cover more mileage, not to mention get better mileage out of your touch, since it’s significantly more intense than a straight touch.

Climax Trickery

Time for you to take your tricks for a test drive. With all that attention, her skin will be flushed, her pupils dilated, parts of her shaking, and those she can steady, she’ll be pushing into you — until she’s done and can’t take anymore, that is. Now that’s how to make her orgasm for real.

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What You Need To KnowSome women are flattered when you suggest a threesome, so keep an open mind.Begin by sharing a threesome fantasy and then letting it become a reality organically.Set up ground rules to avoid relationship problems.

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Sure, sex with your partner is smokin’, but how much hotter would it be to add a third person to the mix? At Good In Bed, we know that a threesome, or menage a trois, has crossed the minds of most couples at some point or another, whether as a fantasy or the real thing. And while not everyone is comfortable even suggesting one, a little honesty can go a long way to help you make the fantasy a reality or even just incorporate the fantasy into your own sex life. Here’s how to make threesomes happen.

Keep An Open Mind

When one partner suggests a threesome, it’s easy for the other to feel worried about the state of the relationship. Really, a threesome sex fantasy is a compliment. Any time I’ve had a partner approach me with the idea, I’ve felt flattered and viewed it as a positive sign of their comfort level with me, regardless of whether I actually chose to participate.

Make It A Fantasy First

Your ability to talk about a threesome is a good indicator of the strength of your relationship (and communication is key when it comes to making threesomes happen). In the Good In Bed Guide to 52 Weeks of Amazing Sex, the authors discuss how to get the most juice out of this fantasy, as well as other sexy scenarios. Can you two discuss other sexual topics openly and without embarrassment? If so, this chat is probably going to go a lot more smoothly. Start off by enjoying the concept of a threesome as a sexy secret fantasy between the two of you.

Pretend you’re going to have one and choose celebrities or random people from a crowd that appeal to you both. Now gauge your partner’s reaction. Does she show a spark of interest in the real thing? If not, keep it as a fantasy and use sex toys, porn or role-playing to incorporate it into your sex life. If she is interested, move on to the next step.

Discuss The Details

If your partner shows interest in an actual threesome, it’s time to hash out the details. How do you envision it? How does she? It’s no surprise that about 95% of heterosexual guys prefer a woman to be the “guest star,” and while some female partners agree, others are more interested in adding another man to the mix. Talk about your preferences, including whether you both want to partake, whether one of you wants to watch, or a bit of both.

Set Some Ground Rules

Setting up some threesome rules are a crucial part of pulling it off. Research shows that women can be awfully protective of their emotional bond with their boyfriend or husband. It’s important to realize that if she feels threatened by your “guest star,” your threesome is going to end pretty badly — and so might your relationship. Talk about the ground rules before the night begins: Are you OK with her kissing the third party? Is she all right with you penetrating another woman? Discuss all the potential outcomes so you both know what to expect. Don’t push your partner into anything she’s not ready for.

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What You Need To Know

• SADD refers to Sexual Attention Deficit Disorder.
• Men used to the instant gratification of internet porn can struggle to maintain an erection.
• Suffer from SADD? Take a masturbation break.

Easy access to internet porn and the sheer variety of novelty it contains have affected average guys who wouldn’t normally have a problem.

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As a sex therapist and founder of Good in Bed, I’ve seen a sharp increase in men who suffer from a new syndrome I’ve dubbed “Sexual Attention Deficit Disorder,” or SADD. And the source of this problem is just a click away — too much internet porn.

Just as people with ADD are easily distracted, guys with SADD have become so accustomed to the high levels of visual novelty and stimulation that comes from internet porn that they’re unable to focus on real sex with a real woman. As a result, guys with SADD often find it difficult to maintain an erection during intercourse, or they experience delayed ejaculation and can only climax with manual or oral stimulation.

Bored In Bed?
Men with SADD tend to find themselves getting bored or impatient during sex. They may be physiologically aroused and erect, but they’re not at peak mental arousal. Guys with SADD may also simply lack the mojo for real sex because they’re depleted from masturbation. They’re not running on a full tank, physically or mentally.

Believe it or not, I first became aware of SADD via the complaints of women who wondered why their guys couldn’t ejaculate (and were often faking it) or who noticed that their partners seemed disconnected or uninterested during sex. When I dug a little deeper, or talked to the guys themselves, I realized that these men were masturbating more than usual due to their easy access to internet porn. Sometimes, they were masturbating about the same as always, but hadn’t realized that their natural refractory period — the recovery time between erections — was increasing as they aged.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of masturbation. It helps a guy blow off some steam and is like a 30-second spa day. But easy access to internet porn and the sheer variety of novelty it contains have affected average guys who wouldn’t normally have a problem. Because of this, these men have rewired their brains to crave the instant gratification of a porn-enabled orgasm. This means that they’re developing what’s clinically referred to as an idiosyncratic masturbatory style: They’ve accustomed themselves to an intense type of physical stimulation that’s not approximated during real sex. Their overall levels of sexual desire for their partners are down, and they need to fantasize during real sex in order to maintain a full erection.

What’s A Guy With SADD To Do?

First, give yourself a masturbation break. Save your mojo for your partner. If you’re single, decrease your frequency of masturbation. When you do masturbate, try using your non-dominant hand. For example, if you’re a righty, touch yourself with your left. You won’t be able to apply the same levels of physical intensity as you can with your dominant hand, so you won’t be as physically numbed to the sensations of intercourse.

Second, lay off the porn. When you masturbate, use your mind to create the pictures and try to recall single episodes of sex. Think of it as the difference between reading and watching TV. Use this opportunity to reconnect with your erotic history and your own catalog of sexy memories.

Increase the mental novelty with your partner: Share fantasies and experiment with role play. Before you have intercourse, get yourself to a point where you’re at peak physical and mental arousal. SADD doesn’t have to be sad for you or your partner. Step away from your computer and toward your bedroom, and you can put your attention back where it belongs — on your real sex life.

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Premature Ejaculation: Anxiety Reduction

Let’s start with what we can do before our penis comes into play. First, you need to learn to calm yourself down and lower your performance anxiety levels. Because premature ejaculation is associated with infrequent sex, men with low frequencies of sexual activity often get extra excited and aroused, which can manifest as performance anxiety when sex presents itself. Even men with frequent sex can get extra aroused. Reducing anxiety is different for everyone. Meditation, hypnosis or imagery exercises may help for some. Just like an athlete works with the sports psychologist to envision their performance, you can do the same sexual imagery for the bedroom. How many of you imagine positive sexual scenarios, envision your interactions and what behaviors you would engage in? Imagery can be like a positive mental plan, something you can fall back on that can help you manage your anxiety beforehand — and in the moment.

Communicating your anxiety is also helpful. We hear the expression, “a big relief to get that off my chest,” yet it’s rarely used for premature ejaculation. Talking with a partner, friend or therapist opens the door for anxiety relief and can help address and alleviate some of our fears. Men are notorious for keeping things inside and it’s no different for a delicate subject like this. Things like our penis size, body image, relationship difficulties, and stressors in life (work, financial, family, health) can all add to our anxiety levels in the bedroom. Lastly, pick up some sex education books/DVDs on sex technique and sexual expression. There are thousands out there and the more sex education you have, the more competent, confident and less anxious you’ll feel.

Premature Ejaculation: Pelvic Muscles

Ever notice the tension you feel in your body? Men are less likely to find ways to release pelvic tension. Often, men are engaged in actions and behaviors throughout their lives and during sex that reinforce muscular tension. During sex, if you’re holding your breath, flexing your abs and muscles, or supporting your weight in certain sexual positions (missionary), you’re creating muscle tension that increases the potential for premature ejaculation.

The classic example is men who tighten their muscles as they push out their erection to feel and appear larger to their partner. Since orgasm is muscular contractions that release muscular tension, it’d be wise for us to work on our muscle tension levels. Activities like yoga, stretching, anxiety reduction skills, and working out are all ways to decrease the tension in your pelvic and abdominal regions outside of the bedroom.

I also recommend you allow your partner (or masseuse) to give you a full body massage. Be mindful of the performance anxiety you experience and the tension release you feel as they touch your stomach, your thighs, your buttocks, and other areas of your body. It’s not about genital stimulation; it’s about managing the discomfort we may feel with our bodies, being touched and feeling exposed. Men that are comfortable with their body image and with being touched often have lower ratings of sexual anxiety.

Another important technique to lasting longer is doing Kegel exercises. If you haven’t tried them, what are you waiting for? There’s no better method to strengthen your pelvic region and to create strong pubococcygeus muscles. One of the reasons Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are two of the great quarterbacks in the NFL is because they spend thousands of hours watching game films to prepare for the game. What are you doing to prepare for sex? You can’t expect greatness if you don’t put in the time.

Premature Ejaculation: Start-Stop Method

The start-stop method is a tested method to learning ejaculatory control and lasting longer. A male will stimulate his penis until he is ready to have an orgasm and then cease stimulation. Why this self-administered torture? You’re training yourself to find when your ejaculatory inevitability occurs, or your point of no return. This is the moment before orgasm when you’re about to explode. Instead of ejaculating, you refrain from stimulation and allow the feeling of orgasm to subside. People will often squeeze their PC muscles (a Kegel contraction) to help hold back orgasm and ejaculation. Essentially, you’re teaching your mind and body to get comfortable with being in heightened states of arousal and learning when the onset of orgasm approaches. The goal is to stretch out the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle and put more distance between the excitement and orgasm phase. People will do the start-stop method repeatedly for months and most gradually notice changes in their control, duration of maintained stimulation, and their anxiety and confidence levels. At first, masturbate alone using the start-stop method, then use it during partnered manual stimulation (hand job), fellatio (blow job) and finally incorporate the start-stop method with intercourse.

Premature Ejaculation: Masturbation

Masturbatory patterns are a form of learned behavior that often need to be unlearned. Most guys have a fast-track orgasm approach to masturbation. Whether it’s because mom always knew the worst time to knock on your door or your decision to rub one out fast when stressed, we often train ourselves to be quick on the orgasm trigger. You need to change this masturbation mentality of goal-oriented orgasm to one that focuses on taking your time and getting comfortable with heightened sensations. Masturbation is the best practice for sex. Instead of racing to orgasm, take at least 20 minutes of masturbation time before allowing yourself to ejaculate. During this time, you’ll focus on the start-stop method and penile stimulation of the shaft and glans (head). The glans are generally the most sensitive areas of the penis and is continuously stimulated inside the vagina. However, most men masturbate using an up-down stroking motion of the shaft and neglect glan stimulation.

Start off your 20-minute stroking without lube and just your imagination. In future masturbation sessions, work up to imagery and lube, and then incorporate an adult magazine without lube, an adult magazine with lube, porn without lube, porn with lube, and eventually porn with lube and a sex toy. What kind of toy? Anything that will mimic vaginal stimulation, such as a tenga egg, penis sleeve or artificial vagina will suffice it. Each of these likely have internal ribbed and studded portions that offer heightened states of stimulation, which you will learn to enjoy and control. Any of these toys can be ordered online and delivered if you’re uncomfortable buying them in person. This gradual increase in stimulation that you can manage, sustain and control will eventually be transferred to sex with a partner.

Premature Ejaculation: Sex Positions

Who would’ve thought the positions we have sex in can impact premature ejaculation? Oddly enough, the most popular position in the U.S. is male superior (missionary), which is also the position associated most with premature ejaculation. This is because muscular tension is increased as the male is supporting his body weight with his arms and core strength. For a male looking to cure premature ejaculation, utilize positions that limit muscular tension such as female superior (female on top), side-to-side (spooning) and rear entry (doggy style) when both partners are on their knees. Incorporate deep breathing with these sex positions to keep the blood and oxygen circulating.

Premature Ejaculation: Other Treatments

Personally, I think desensitizing creams are a short-term fix. Why would you want to reduce your sensation? Isn’t the whole point of sex to feel sensation and find ways to enhance this? Condoms have similar desensitizing aspects but at least protect you from STIs and pregnancy. Ejaculating before intercourse is another way to last longer. The more times we ejaculate in a sexual experience, the longer lasting we become and less semen we produce. Lastly, some MDs are prescribing psychotropic medications known for their sexual side effects of delaying ejaculation. Interesting — you last longer and feel less depressed or anxious.

Manage Premature Ejaculation

Most of you can eradicate premature ejaculation in a few months if you stick to your program. There are a lot of self-help books, videos, therapists, and sex coaches that can help you through this process. One issue with training yourself to last longer is that once you start lasting longer it’s difficult to go back to quickies. But, I guess most of you can live with long sessions of intense sensation, arousal and partners screaming your name in ecstasy. It’s a decent trade-off.

• What You Need To Know
• The most important thing in making a woman come is relaxation.
• Focus on stimulation rather than penetration. Solution? Foreplay.
• Besides foreplay, focus on female pleasure positions.

Your mom could walk in the room (we hope she doesn’t), and you wouldn’t be able to stop.

Can’t last as long as you’d like to during sex? It may not even matter. The truth is you could last longer than the director’s cut of Inception, and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference if you weren’t giving a woman the right kind of stimulation. Learn a few key tricks, though, and you can give a woman a mind-blowing orgasm with just a few minutes of intercourse. The secret? It’s all about timing. Read on to learn about managing premature ejaculation by taking advantage of the 90-second window.

Get In The Window

When it comes to, well, coming, men and women are very different. As I discuss in my new book, The Good in Bed Guide to Overcoming Premature Ejaculation, guys have a point of what’s called orgasmic inevitability. This is the moment when you’re going to pass the point of no return and climax, no matter what. Your mom could walk in the room (we hope she doesn’t), and you wouldn’t be able to stop. But women don’t have orgasmic inevitability. In fact, many women claim that they can “lose” an orgasm when they’re right on the verge of having it.

That’s where the “window of female orgasmic opportunity” comes in. This is the minute and a half, (aka the 90-second window) when she’s close to climaxing — and the right moves can help push her over the edge and ensure her orgasm. Here’s how.

Set The Mood

Studies show that women are more likely to orgasm when comfortable and relaxed during sex. Researchers in the Netherlands found that the key to female arousal seems to be a deep sense of relaxation. In a study in which the brains of men and women were scanned during the process of sexual response using a technique called positron emission tomography (PET), the results showed that the parts of the female brain responsible for processing fear, anxiety and high emotion deactivate during sexual activity. And at peak, during orgasm, the female brain’s emotion centers close down, producing an almost trance-like state. So do whatever you can to make her feel at ease and less stressed.

Focus On Foreplay

Next, start stimulating her biggest sex organ: the brain. Research shows that most women fantasize during sex, probably because it helps them relax. Share a hot fantasy — starring her, of course. After some mental foreplay, you should transition into some serious physical foreplay. When it comes to premature ejaculation, never forget about foreplay. Lots of us view foreplay as a quick round of appetizers, when we should be thinking of it as a main course. Think clitorally rather than vaginally; focus on stimulation as opposed to penetration. Many women say that they climax most consistently from receiving oral sex, for example. So start treating foreplay like its own form of lovemaking, and give it equal — if not more — weight as intercourse.

Pay Attention

It’s easy to get lost in your own pleasure, but if you want to help a woman orgasm, you have to focus on her, too. It’s common for women to turn inward when they’re turned on, so don’t rely on moans of pleasure to guide your way. Instead, watch for tension in her muscles, especially in her hands, feet and pelvis. If you’re not sure, ask her to give you a sign when she’s getting close, like a squeeze of your hand.

Don’t Stop

If it seems like something’s working, don’t change it. When a woman is close to climaxing, she needs consistency, not variety. Keep using your penis, hand, mouth, toy, or whatever else to provide resistance to her clitoris while letting her do the work. This clitoral pressure is more important for her pleasure than simply thrusting.

Get Her On Top

When she’s ready for intercourse, pull her on top of you. Also called female-superior, it’s the best sex position for helping a woman climax because it provides clitoral stimulation. You can also try CAT (coital alignment technique): You’re on top, but focus on deep thrusting while keeping pressure on her clitoris from your pelvis.

Relax And Enjoy

While you might both orgasm at the same time, it’s more likely that one of you will be first. Keep this in mind when it comes to dealing with premature ejaculation. If that’s you, don’t sweat it. Keep her in the window: It will take about 90 seconds to lose your erection, so she should still be able to climax if you’re providing consistent clitoral stimulation with your pelvis.

She Comes FirstAnd if she comes first? Enjoy her orgasm, and congratulate yourself on a job well done. Most women have an innate capacity to achieve multiple orgasms, so get to work on that second one.

Lubricant Is Essential

The anal canal does not produce its own lubricant, so it is imperative that you use a good quality lubricant in all your anal adventures. It is advisable to use a silicon-based lubricant because it tends to last longer and doesn’t dry up very quickly like some water-based lubricants do. Don’t use sticky petroleum-based products like Vaseline, as they clog up the walls of the rectum and are much too sticky.

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Tease Her

It is important that she is very turned on before you even go near her butt. When she’s turned on, her body is much more open to you than if she is only mildly turned on. She needs to be aching for you to touch her there. Then, when you start to touch her closer to her anus, she will respond with moans and groans instead of a tense grimace. Rub her body all over with oils, relax her, love her, adore her, and caress her. Get her to the point where she is begging you for it, and do this without putting a single thing in her — tease, tease, tease. Anticipation is one of the greatest sexual tools you have — use it to your advantage.

Condoms And Hygiene

Disease can be passed through unprotected sex — this includes anal sex. The wall of the rectum is very thin and permeable. However, using condoms can be better for both partners, for other reasons. Women may not like to have a bottom full of semen, which quite frankly is a fair call. After the disruptions of anal sex, the semen mixes with the contents of the rectum and it can get a little “upset” in there. Using a condom avoids this trouble.

Condoms may also protect the penis from any stray fecal matter, though this is generally not a problem, and if it does occur can be washed off easily with no harm done. Men may like to wear a condom so they last a bit longer — the condom desensitizes the penis somewhat, and allows for longer lovemaking.

What Not To Do

Do not ever put your penis into a woman’s body without her express permission. Do not treat her body like a scoring device. She is not an object for you to ejaculate in or on, and if she is kind enough to share her beautiful butt with you, treat it with respect and be happy you were allowed close enough to breathe her in at all. Don’t ejaculate inside of her if requested not to. Don’t slam, jackhammer or be forceful either.

What To Always Do

Always use lube. Always wear a condom if requested to without acting like a baby. Do as you are asked at all times — anal sex is a delicate situation and she needs to be able to trust you.

Gender Presumptions And Anal Sex

When a heterosexual couple thinks of anal sex, it is generally man-in-woman anal sex. To get a good understanding of what it’s like — and how to improve your performance — it is necessary and helpful for you to open your mind to the possibility that anal sex is not something that only you do to your female lover, but something that you could do to each other.

Scared yet? Don’t be. If it’s good for the goose, it’s good for the gander. Anal sex takes a lot of practice to perfect, and experimenting with one another is a fantastic way to deepen your connection and enhance your sex life and relationship. It does not have to involve sex toys. You can use fingers, tongues, oils, lubes, and any number of other things. Experiment, and let your own body be loved. It will pay off.

Backdoor Shenanigans

Anal sex is many things to many people. Do it right, and you’ll get to do it again. Do it wrong, and you may be doomed forever. Well, probably not forever — but until she forgets how bad it was the first time around.

There are hundreds of anal sex guides online — explicit instructions on how to do it right. If you read at least a dozen of them, you’ll probably have a good idea about how to start off

The best piece of advice we can give you is to make sure she is hot for it before you start. Then you really can’t lose.

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• What You Need To Know
• Lubrication, anticipation and protection are all essential precursors to rear-entry.
• Though it can feel great and a little naughty, anal can hurt and may be messy.
• The most important tip for pleasurable anal is that both partners are comfortable.

Anal sex has a tang of taboo attached to it, though this is disappearing: The taboo status of anal sex gives it better credence among the adventuresome and timid alike, and this adds to its attraction.

Anal sex is just one of those things: She either loves it, or she hates it. There is very little in between. Most women have tried it at some point, and a fair few of them will never dare again despite their hankering to be one of the “lucky ones” who love anal sex. The reason for this avoidance is clear: pain. If there was no pain, there was probably pleasure. Hence, love or hate.

It is true, however, that while you’re trying to “get it right” there are likely to be some painful moments; however, practice makes perfect and it’s the ability to maneuver oneself and try different styles that allows anal sex to be pleasurable.

We’ve decided to let you in on what women love and hate about anal sex so that you can enter the situation sufficiently informed and ready to rock her world.

The Allure Of Anal Sex

For men and women, anal sex is a different, tighter sensation — it’s a little bit naughty and it provides some variety to normal sex. Anal sex has a tang of taboo attached to it, though this is disappearing: The taboo status of anal sex gives it better credence among the adventuresome and timid alike, and this adds to its attraction. Once tried, however, anal sex can quickly lose its appeal for women (and some men). Here we will discuss some of the reasons why women love and hate anal sex.

Why Does She Love Anal Sex?
Let’s start with the positives:

Because Anal Sex Feels GoodWomen love anal sex because it can feel absolutely incredible. It’s different in sensation and it doesn’t feel like anything else she may have felt before — it’s deep inside, it’s not her clitoris and it is not in her vagina, but feels strangely like both in a sort of mixed-up combination in another part of her body. The rectum, once it’s ready, literally swallows the penis up and can’t get enough. The back passage transforms itself into a sexual playground. If the clitoris and/or vagina are stimulated while you are inside of her, it can take her to another sexual realm. Anal orgasms are possible.

Because Anal Sex Is Naughty

People love to be a little bit naughty sometimes, and anal sex is one of those things you can do completely privately, and nobody will ever know you were naughty except you and your partner — which is part of the fun. It is also often a “first time for everything” type of activity that can also be nice — doing something you’ve never done before, ever.

Why Does She Hate Anal Sex?

Now for what goes wrong:

Because Anal Sex Hurts
Anal sex is not easy to master when you haven’t done it before. For a man it may seem straightforward — in, out — but it isn’t this simple. Women hate anal sex primarily because it hurts. It can cause cold sweats, shivers, extreme agony, and a massive chemical release into the blood stream that causes pain. This is highly unpleasant, but may be endured because A) She wants to like it; and B) She wants you to like it.
If you’re not very careful, if you don’t warm her up properly, if you don’t go slowly enough, you will probably hurt her. This really minimizes your chances for trying anal sex again. Do your best every time and you have at least a fighting chance at having another go.

Because She’s Worried About A Mess

Anal sex is obviously a hot spot for mess. The idea that you could penetrate her butt and come out in a sticky situation is hugely embarrassing for her before it’s even happened, and for this reason she may avoid anal sex altogether. Women spend so much time making themselves look and smell beautiful that to have something ruin her hard work can be mildly devastating. Worrying about mess can be alleviated by using an anal douche before engaging in any anal play. Try taking a shower together too, and make sure her bowels are emptied at least an hour before starting.

A good sex life takes time and effort to maintain. It won’t always be easy — our busy lives are taxing and often leave us tired and devoid of the imagination and motivation required to keep up the pace. Having good sex doesn’t necessarily mean spending hours and hours of frolicking, it can be as simple as doing something a little different just for a change.

Women are cyclic creatures, and her sex drive will vary depending on her hormones and what’s going on in her life. Sometimes it takes a bit longer to get her hot and the same-old song and dance may not be enough. This applies to you too.

Therefore, it’s important to add a few more stimulating aspects to your sex life to keep things interesting.
Here are 10 tips for better sex, which should keep the two of you hot for some time to come.

Number 10

Blindfold HerSexual pleasure has many dimensions, but the most important sexual organ we have is our brain. When one sense is hindered, our other senses — via the brain — clamor to compensate. For example, a deaf person has increased sensory awareness — sight, smell, touch, and vibrations. For No. 10 entry on our 10 tips for better sex guide, we’re telling you that you can tap into this innate ability of ours and use it to your advantage:

Blindfolding your partner increases her sensory awareness. She doesn’t know where you are or what you are going to do next. This creates anticipation for better sex — the tease. Tease her mercilessly with sensory objects, such as a feather or your tongue. Start off softly, as this excites her nerve endings and makes them far more sensitive. Be careful not to overstimulate the nerve endings, however, because after a while the neurons stop firing with such intensity and the sensation becomes null and void.

Number 9

Give Her InstructionsAfter a while you may think you know how to please your partner in every way, but this is very rarely true. There is always something you haven’t tried, and there is bound to be something one of you always does that could be done differently.
To combat this for better sex, have a lesson session in which you don’t think you know it all, and are at each other’s mercy as teacher. Talk about things you haven’t tried, but would like to, then choose one suggestion from each partner, and get down and dirty. We often get caught thinking we know what our partners like, and after a while it becomes “the way it’s done.” Lose this myth and put yourself in the student’s chair for a while for better sex you won’t regret.

Number 8

MassageSensual touch is one of the most highly relaxing and sexy things you can do for your partner, which is why it makes it onto our 10 tips for better sex list. Our bodies are almost without exception tense in some area, if not many areas. This hinders our energy flow — including sexual energy flow. Imagine a car that has a clogged fuel filter: the fuel (our energy) can’t get to where it needs to go quickly and smoothly, and the car performs inefficiently and ineffectively.
A relaxing sensual massage can unlock her body to some very intense orgasms and much better sex in the end. The ability to relax your partner in this way should be high on your list of skills to master. The same goes for her: The difference between a deeply relaxing massage and a sensual massage is in the manner of touch — you don’t want to relax her too deeply because she will probably fall straight to sleep.

The key to better sex in this case is to keep her senses alert, but her body relaxed. This means a firm touch, coupled with some sensory feather-light caresses. Once you’ve relaxed her major muscles — shoulders and back — work your way down to her buttocks. Strokes can then start to wander near to, but not on, her inner thighs, butt crease and vagina. Don’t forget her hands and feet — there are thousands of nerve endings in our hands and feet that are very sensitive to touch. If you have no idea what a good massage feels like or how to perform one, spend some time in “lesson time” with your partner and learn what you both like or just run your hands all over her body — all over. Don’t skip to the hot spots or you’ll ruin the effect.

Number 7

Have Her Dress UpPretending to be something you’re not comes easily to some people. However, it has its benefits when done for fun. Stepping out of the role of being “yourself” can be a fun way to give each other permission to behave differently for better sex. Playing the role of someone else during sexual play is a very enjoyable way to give your partner some different sensations, and try things that you haven’t done before. Role playing is a great way to have better sex and to have fun with your partner in a light-hearted but sexy way. It is often the woman who does the dressing up simply because A) They enjoy it; and B) They have the resources of clothes, underwear and makeup — but don’t forget that you can play too..

Number 6

Tell Her Your FantasiesTalking about your fantasies with your partner is a very conducive form of sex play. It increases communication with your partner, which is of great importance, as well, it also helps you get to know each other better for better sex. Yes, you may be surprised by what comes out of her mouth, but this works both ways. Keep it light at first and don’t throw her in the deep end with fantasies about people you both know or reveal fetishes you aren’t sure about. Sit back with a glass of wine and keep your clothes on — for now. Fantasy play can also be incorporated into a game for better sex. Use your imagination, and keep it sexy. Take it in turns and see where it leads you.

Number 5

Play A GameGet a pack of cards and play strip poker for better sex. It may seem like something you would have done when you were in high school (given the opportunity), but adult strip poker is a good way to get naked. Once you are both naked (or nearly naked), you can start on the really fun part: A loss means the other person gets to choose what action is performed on them by the loser. Time limits like one minute on said action means that it is a prolonged game of seduction, which by the end will have you both clamoring to be both the winner and the loser. There are many other games you can play “strip” to, as long as there is regular winner and loser to reward and punish respectively. The great part about these games is that you can both ask the other person to do something in a certain way that you may not necessarily have ever done before. It can get rather filthy, and definitely lead to better sex in the end.

Number 4

Dirty TalkTalking dirty has turned people on for millennia and will continue to do so because it has something other sex play doesn’t: words. Because our brains are our largest sexual apparatus, we respond to the spoken word automatically — especially when someone says our name. The spoken word evokes emotions, sensations and blood flow to various regions, depending on the topic.

This works very much in your favor when it comes to talking dirty to your lover because women are especially susceptible to what goes in their ears (and I don’t mean cotton buds or ear candles). Talking dirty is, however, an art form and when done badly can result in fits of giggles (which, lets face it, ain’t so bad but isn’t quite the goal here). Don’t let this deter you.

For better sex, start off easy with neutral dirty-talk topics, such as how you feel inside her, how much you are enjoying the act and what you would like to do to her next. Don’t get too carried away, but let it flow out of you. Dirty talk can be a bit daunting at first, if you are not used to verbalizing these things, so practice. You will see how she responds to you. Dirty talk also comes under the “encouragement” category — when she sees that you like something very much, she will be more interested in doing it more. The rawness of the sexual passion aroused with dirty talk is why it is so effective. Be careful with swearing too much — though a good dose of foul language is part and parcel with dirty talk (its not called dirty talk for nothing), too much swearing/name calling can be a turn off. Try to stick to positive words, and leave the commonly used insult words out. Watch what you call her body parts too — just make sure she can handle it before launching into your tirade of filth. Chances are, the passion from you will ignite hers two-fold.

Number 3

Try A New PositionYou already know how to bring her to orgasm in two ways (probably). You repeat these regularly because they work — there’s no harm in that. However, if you never, ever try any new positions again, how will you ever know? New positions need a reasonably high level of arousal in your lover, so choose your time to strike a new pose when she is quite obviously feeling very randy.
There is no limit to the number of ways to have sex, so you can use your imagination and come up with as many weird and wonderful inventions as you desire. Simply changing locations can dramatically change the position, so consider this too (for example on top of the washing machine, on a bench, beanbag or table).

Number 2

Use A Cock RingCock rings slow the drain of blood out of your erection, and keep you harder for longer. A very hard penis stimulates a woman’s insides slightly differently — and much better — than one that is getting soft around the edges. Cock rings are inexpensive and usually nice to look at, and make an interesting male sex toy to add to your collection. Cock rings ensure that you can maintain the pace without faltering for better sex. This is very pleasing to your lady friend.
Number 1

Try A New PlaceSex in a new locale is definitely up there in exciting things to do for better sex. You can take a drive somewhere secluded where you can get a bit risqué. Try a public place (not too public) or simply move to a different room or area in your home — or even someone else’s home. Whatever tickles your fancy. There are a million and one different places to have sex other than your home, in your bed — use them.

Increase Your PleasureThe list of helpful hints you have been presented with equates to a very good head start to a better sex life. The time and energy required to plan your adventures will pay off immediately, but also over the longer term. You will be rewarded according to the effort you put in with a great new skill set, and of course better sex. Make time, conserve some energy for it and relax. Life is short!